It’s been a whirlwind.

I last updated way back in September, now it’s the end of October. The time flies by so quickly when you are having fun studying very hard. The growth that has taken place in my life has been amazing and yet it isn’t like a dynamic paradigm shift, or a i-never-knew-that kinda moment, or a everything-i-know-about-the-bible-is-wrong kind of moment either. It’s studying how spiritual formation works and applying that with a circle of guys here that makes the difference and ultimately sets the tone for spiritual formation for life.

Seminary is such a growing experience in and of itself. I’ve learned that time management has to be your best friend or else you will be bogged down with work. Papers have to be written in Turabian format, and with more clarity than a laser cut diamond. I’ve learned that having a balance of school, church, personal, relational, social, and work is very very hard. But is so necessary to remain sane and on the goal. Most of all, I’ve learned that seminary is about Jesus. It points to Him being the centrality of what we do, no matter what kind of ministry we all end up in. There is no separation between the sacred and the secular, because Jesus is in the midst of all of that. If we don’t preach Jesus with our mouths, we have to at least have to preach Him in our lives by the way we live. It’s a hard statement to hold down and to digest. It’s hard for me today to do it. There have been many times that I’ve wanted to just quit and work in the “secular” world as a designer and not have to worry about these spiritual issues, but the reality is that i would have to anyways. Jesus is in the workplace. Whether I want Him there or not.

More than preaching Jesus, it’s preaching him crucified and resurrected. We can tell people all we want that we love Jesus, but without the suffering He had to endure on the cross, and without the hope that is attached to his resurrection, it’s a weak Jesus that we proclaim. We know better than that. Jesus humbled himself as a servant to this world, was killed at our hands, but he rose up and over all of that to proclaim and to solidify His claims of kingdom reign. Oh how I adore thee.

In other news, I haven’t been cooking much. Which is so sad. I mean I do from time to time, I made some awesome chicken noodle soup the other day. And thanks to Holly, am now on an artichoke binge. I put it in everything: pastas, pizza, ice cream, ramen noodles, etc. I don’t have a complete apartment either. I have a bed and a nightstand, but no desk or dining table, or even carpet (cement floors). So I’ll be getting those soon whenever I can break away from the cycle of school. ha! (or order it online)

thanks for reading, i gotta get ready for my spiritual formation group. peace!

or is there such a thing? Can there be an exclusive asian american only variety of Christianity? Or does the very nature of Christ do away with cultural and racial implications?

Don’t get me wrong here: I am not making fun of Christian Asian-Americans, nor am I criticizing Christian Asian-Americans, I am, in fact, one myself. I make my thoughts public as a means to flesh out what I am thinking.

Lately I’ve been thinking alot about the cultural practices of average Asian-Americans as of late and how they relate to a life in pursuit of Christ (or to act Christianly). As Asian-Americans there are certain tendencies that we naturally exhibit that counters that of the imitation of Christ that we ought to have. Case in point:

#1 – Keeping it square

I don’t know if it was from our parents, but I have always wanted to pay back somebody if they had done something nice to me or for me. Even if it was something so insignificant, I feel indebted to that person and become motivated to show them that I care and genuinely want to “repay” them. e.g. A family friend from out of town decides to take me out to dinner, and I know in advance, in order to show them I am grateful, I will buy something for them to give to them prior to the meal. Or here’s another example that’s a little bit more simple: A friend of mine lets me borrow his car so that I could go grocery shopping, so that I have food for the week, as a token of my appreciation I not only put gas in his car but I also invite him over for a meal.

I think this mentality of always wanting to pay it back, no matter what it is, big or small, doesn’t help our idea of grace. Grace is freely given and is actually given to us because of our undeserving natures. I keep wanting to pay God back by being holy, when my motivation should just be to obey him by being holy and grace is the process which I can be holy before God. There’s something there that Asian American cultural norms have impeded my ability to imitate Christ.

#2 – Passive Aggressiveness

I don’t even have to tell you what this means, Asian-Americans are notorious for being passive aggressive in almost every facet of their life. Dating relationships, friendships, family members, homework, you name it. We will do everything under heaven to avoid direct confrontation with the very thing that we are struggling with. Like right now. I am alone in my apartment because I do not want to confront my insecurities as a person and meet other people on my floor, but yet while talking to Holly I’ll tell her how discontent I am with my lack of a social life. haha. So ironic.

This attitude really doesn’t help in the walk with Christ, especially in the context of community. In the early church in Acts, people shared all their belongings and all of their food. They ate together and broke bread together, all the time. They shared who they were and made themselves vulnerable to one another so that they could live in a genuine community. It’s with this attitude that makes entering into small groups really hard. We will try to avoid confrontations about sin in our lives, dealing with the negatives things in our lives, and not allowing others to speak into our lives. While on the same side of the token say to others that we are not getting a whole lot out of small group because we aren’t “real.” ha!

Again I’m not making fun of Christian Asian-Americans nor am I criticizing them. I am just making light of the things that I am seeing a Christan who happens to be Asian American, dealing with his inherit sin nature and fighting for dear life to hold onto the Spirit to confront my flesh. These were only a few of the things that I’m thinking through right now. Have you yourself noticing anything that might be a hindrance in your walk with Christ because of your cultural background? Have you noticed something of a different culture that might help others see this?

I’m fascinated to hear your responses.

week 3 of seminary. I am indeed alive. Quite the contrary of what some might believe of a student in seminary. It’s been such a ride so far. In 3 short weeks, we’re covered topics ranging from the various types or subcategories of theology to bible study methods and hermeneutics. My head hurts thinking about all the different things we have looked at; characteristics of God, attributes of God’s grace, what is sin/sin nature, what does it mean to be human/fully human?

I’ve wondered many times since I’ve gotten here, whether or not I really do belong here. I wonder about forming friendships and ministry opportunities. Silly ol me, worrying about these things and pestering God about it all. He answered. oh boy did He answer. This past monday Holly and I had lunch with another dating couple (rare on seminary grounds, they are either married or single), and they were really genuine people, really love the Lord and chase after Him. It was nice to finally sit down for a meal and just feel like we belonged. It was the little things too, like watching television. Apparently not a whole lot of people (the people that I have met) don’t like to watch television or at least are not as enthused as we are about television. And just today, in my seminar in worship arts class, I met a guy who is about to start a ministry that provides media support for smaller churches that can’t afford to maintain a staff of media personnel. They are looking to provide services that are not generic, but specific to the individual church and what contextually fits for them. Whether that looks like video production, music recording, or graphic design work, this is what these guys want to do. He’s already extended the invitation to come along with them.

It’s the small things that happen during the day that really make me thankful that the God I serve, is so faithful to His servants. Like the opening prayer by Dr. Richard Allen Farmer for my Seminar in Worship Arts class: “Papa, thank You for the great many events that have happened already that we may give you the praise: for breathing life into us, giving us energy to physically get out of bed, to giving us sight as we drive, which you also give us the ability to do, thank for the might to pick up a spoon so that we may put food in our mouths, thank you God for your incredible dedication to the little details in life that we sometimes overlook”

What I like most about seminary isn’t the fact that I’m earning a masters degree, it’s that I am receiving a training rooted so deeply in the Word of God (Jesus as the Word of God, Scripture as the inspired Word of God and the preaching of the Word of God). There is a building up of something in my life that cannot be done in a secular graduate school, nor other kinds of training at other religious institutions. There is a spiritual molding here that takes it start here in seminary and continues to work itself out until the day of my death. A molding that implements the studying of scripture, intentional spiritual community and a deep personal prayer life.

If you are praying with me, and/or for me, here are my prayer requests:

1. I get a sound sleep. For some odd reason I keep waking up at like 5am every morning this past week. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit reminding me that i need to start my day in prayer and reading

2. Finances. There’s been a problem with my stafford loan application, apparently I didn’t fill in a 2nd reference on my application and it’s being drawn out even longer. I won’t receive my loan until mid October now, which might be longer with this 2nd reference thing. The problem is my rent is due the first week of that month and I definitely will not have the money by then. Pray that the housing office understands this situation and has mercy on me.

3. Employment. I need a job. I’ve applied to a few campus positions, but all of them have been filled. I don’t have a car so that really limits where I can work. And I live in a not so good part of town meaning that anywhere near by will not be very much money. Maybe it’s a pride issue that I need to deal with and just suck it up. I’m not entirely sure.

Thank you. Grace and Peace unto you.

Howard Hendricks: “Your assignment for class is this: Take Acts 1:8 and make 20 observations about it, make 5 more observations from the context v6-11.”

wow. really?

So I got out a pen and a paper and wrote verse 8 out. Left plenty of spacing between the lines and then had at it. It was like InterVarsity bible study again. Inductive bible study method. I mean wow, it was awesome. Brought back so many memories. Memories of highlighters and pens and scribbles and connections. It was so awesome. I was reliving a dream or something. haha.

It was so much fun just marking up that scripture and making those observations. Who knew seminary could be fun? haha ohhh it’s not? I have to do what? Read that many books?

haha yeah the reading is fun. Here’s to reading the night away!

In his letter to the Church of Philippi, Paul acknowledges that his friends are concerned with him and his ministry (Philippians 4:10a). He also recognizes that his friends have wanted to show their concern for him but have not the opportunity to do so (Philippians 4:10b). It’s in this spirit that I write this note today. You all know that I have been brought to Dallas Theological Seminary by God’s hand of providence and am here to learn, live, grow and develop into a servant for God’s ever-growing Kingdom. More specifically I am in the Masters of Media and Communication program. God has given me a passion to serve the universal Church (church, ministry, non-profit) by way of using my unique gifts of creativity to give Him glory.

Paul continues to address the Church of Philippi on the opportunity to give, saying that the reason to give is not because he is in need, because his need for him is not dire. “I am not saying this because I am in need, I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (Philippians 4:11b)” Like Paul, I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. I’ve lived in those circumstances and like Paul I recognize that “I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)”

I am content, but there is still a need and here is the opportunity: I’m a little tight on the financial side of life. That was not easy for me to type. I write this with a heavy heart and with great hesitation. God asked me to write this last week Thursday right after our financial aid meeting during orientation. I’ve procrastinated as much as I could, and so here it is. I have often prayed in the last few days that my needs be met, and I believe that they will. I know this because God is a good God. He says “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33).”

I am not asking for a lot of money, unless of course that is something God has put on your heart to give. More importantly, it is the prayer that I need the most. Please consider partnering with me in prayer, not just over the financial items, but also for a time here in seminary that is focused on being biblically trained, to have my heart set on God always, and to be a joyful servant.

If you would like to see an itemized list of needs that I have along with their associated cost, I will gladly forward that to you.

Of course the Asian in me wouldn’t allow for me to completely receive the money joyfully without giving something back in return. What I will do is this: I have chosen a few of my images that I absolutely love and I am going to make them into prints. If you do chose to give, I will send you a print of my work.

Love Collection:

Black and White Collection

Nature Collection

Orientation was yesterday. Today was testing. Monday is the first day of classes.

Seminary is going to be hard. But I am going to enjoy every single second of it. I will be pushed and stretched in the most unimaginable ways, but it will be for the best. As the Dean of Students said to us yesterday, “it will be a life between the tension.” The tension between academics, family, employment, and spirituality. It’ll be a hard aligning act, but focus on Christ will be imperative. I can’t wait.

What excites me is that everyone that I have talked to is so zealous for the building up of the Kingdom of God. In whatever area of ministry they are in, christian education, counseling, media and communication, cross cultural ministry and the theology students, they are so excited about the possibility of Kingdom work. It is so awesome to be around like-minded people. Thank you God for arranging this and including this into your plan for my life.

I love our school’s “slogan” for lack of a better word, “Teach Truth. Love Well.” From my understanding and from it’s biblical backing (Ezra 7:10) It’s about being dedicated to studying the Truth (the Word of God) and then practicing those truths (loving on people) and then teaching truth. There’s more to it, but the simplicity behind it astounds me and compels me to seek after truth and to practice truth and to love out of that truth.

In other news, I have nothing in my apartment. haha my bed is pieces (i bought it at ikea) and i have no clothes hangers, drawers or anything else in my bedroom. It’s kind of sad actually. I’m going to go to Luke’s closet to see if I can get some furniture, because I am a poor seminary student now

wow. 2 weeks in Asia on a whirlwind tour of Taiwan and China. never have I done so much traveling before in such a short amount of time. In about 16 days of travel, I have been to Taipei, TaiChung, Kaoh Hsiung, Ken Ding, Tai Dong, Do Liou, Shanghai, Su Zhou, Hang Zhou, and Beijing. Within each of those places, I’ve visited multiple attractions within the city too. It was tiring, and definitely irritating at some points, but so worth it. I was with my family for 16 days and it was the best time anyone could ever ask for. I have never felt so close with my family as I did on this trip. Thanks God, you always provide.

I write that despite the setbacks on a trip, in the end it’s always worth it. I pondered this sentiment while I was climbing the Great Wall of China last wednesday afternoon. The steps there are not all the same height, the angle of the steps aren’t the same either. It’s nearly 90 degrees on some sections and almost 10 degrees on other parts. When you have climbed nearly 400 steps you begin to ask yourself; “is it worth it?” Unfortunately for me, I didn’t make it to the top, I was suffering from heat exhaustion and lack of water, so it wasn’t safe for me to climb the rest. But my sister went up there. On her way down, I asked her, “was it worth it?” Amongst her apparent physical weariness, she flashed a large smile, grinning from one side to the other, and told me: “you should have been there, the view from up there was breath taking.” A sense of euphoria and satisfaction swept over her and she remained in a state of utter bliss. It’s examples like this in my life that I have to stop and reflect on my faith. I honestly do believe that God gives us snapshots of our lives at certain times, especially times where you really do have to take a hard look at yourself. I asked many a people as I walked up the Great Wall if it was worth it. A nice gentleman named Zamir showed me his metal award that had his name carved into it, a sign of completion. A group of Americans stopping by the way side from their descent told me, “yes, it is so worth it, when you get to the top, you will know.” As I climb my own wall of faith, with every tiring step closer to the kingdom of God, you can sometimes stop and really question why it is that you are climbing so high. “Is it worth it to be a loving person, a compassionate person, especially when people don’t react in the way you think they would when you love on them?” “Is it worth it not living a life beyond our means, and being frugal in a world that always wants more and more?” “Is it worth it to love mercy, justice and honor even in a world that doesn’t seem to want anything to do with them?” “Is it worth it to chose a life of mediocrity (US standard) so that my wealth can be evenly distributed to a world that is filled with utter poverty?”

It is. I’m reminded by that one verse in Hebrews, ¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. It is when we get to the top, we see that it was well worth it. That a great cloud of witnesses will be there to cheer you on, and you will see that your efforts are not in vain. That the Kingdom of God is not in vain and that it is advancing, despite the prevailing views of culture.

“Is it worth it to pursue seminary in light of attaining success in a job somewhere in the country?” “Is it worth it to obtain biblical training when the world sees it as folly?” Yes and yes. For my treasures are not here on Earth, but will be stored up in Heaven. And my success will only be determined by how I live my life for the Glory of the King. Please pray with me and for me as I enter in a life of seminary, may it be a time of filling, storing, and when I am done, a time of releasing. Please also pray for Holly and I as we enter into this time together. Thank you.

Peace and Grace

Well, the time has finally come. It’s time to move away from Columbus. This will be my last night here in Columbus and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody but Devin and Yun. Consistently through the years (6), both Devin and Yun have been there for me. Through every dramatic moment, every hardship and in every celebration of life, they have been there. When we are together, we don’t use highly spiritual terminology to describe the way we feel or the condition of our hearts. It’s because we’re in tuned with one another, whether it’s from a long time together or just their genuine character wanting to know how I am doing. It strikes me as odd, whenever I find myself in a new small group at a church or church functions, there has to be this awkward tension amongst the group. The host is overtly conscious about the well-being of newcomers (and rightly so) and everybody in the group is asking questions about where you live, what you do, those types of things. It’s refreshing just to be able to be myself, whether i’m frustrated or extremely happy. It’s just me and my best buddies and I feel like that’s the way a small group ought to function; less duty and obligation and more eagerness and vulnerability.

Special mention: Mike has been there for me too, even with the distance, he has been a constant and I will always find myself in deep appreciation for his presence in my life.

During my time here in Columbus, I’ve grown up a whole lot. Emotionally stronger and more resilient. Physically more fit (than high school). Educationally filled from university studies in film studies and graphic design classes. Culturally more aware by having friday night dinners, wine appreciation with Devin and Yun, along with all the different foods and fairs I’ve gone to over the years. Financially well rounded (from all the times I’ve over drafted in my account). Management of time perfected to an art. During my time here in Columbus, I’ve become a lot more aware of my spiritual life as well too. I gave my life to Christ in High School, and then entered into college thinking it would just flourish. Temptations were high and my life turned sour real quick, I went away from God quickly. It was towards the end of freshmen year and going into sophomore year that I my eyes became open to my wayward life (partying, clubbing, drinking, etc.) and it was during this time that key people started to really invest into my life. People like Sriram, Kyle, Jason, Darren, Yun, Ed, along with the guys my age started to chime in my life; Mike, Mikey, Chris, Kellen, David Pan, and Wes. I never realized until now how blessed I was having these guys surround me. Because of these guys, my relationship with Jesus was reignited and was breathing again. There were downfalls and drops in my walk with God, but through it all, God had placed people strategically in my life to bring me back to Him.

I’ll look back in fondness at my time here in Columbus, as I move from this season of growth into a time of preparation for whatever God has in store for me later. I’m leaving the familiarities of a city that I love, places I frequent, people I know and love, to a place where none of that exists (besides having my lovely girlfriend there). It’s a scary thing. But without being a little uncomfortable, how can you begin to appreciate God’s goodness and sovereignty in your life. I’ve become extremely comfortable living here in Columbus these past few months, and have definitely neglected to be thankful more often and to see God’s hand in the midst of my life. How interesting it is when you see God more apparent the greater the need for Him to show up.

So as I go from this place I remember a few verses:

Matthew 10:11-16
¹¹“Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. ¹²As you enter the home, give it your greeting. ¹³If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. ¹⁴If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. ¹⁵I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. ¹⁶I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

My peace definitely rests here in Columbus and I will definitely not shake the dust off my feet when I leave.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This verse has been used a lot in relation to marriage, and I totally agree with it’s contextual meaning in that sense, but I also think of this verse in the way as a people of God, we need to stick together. as brothers and sisters in Christ, it’s necessary to find others and join with them so that your life is stronger and not quickly won by the enemy.

So as I leave, I depart with a great deal of sadness, but also a heart full of appreciation for those who have an active participation in my life, and I will take you along for the ride of my life. Grace and Peace to you all.

Should I even have a blog? I’m sorry for those who have added this into your blogger reel, or google reader but yet see nothing from me.

Since the last time I posted, I have made the decision to go to Dallas to attend DTS and I am so excited to be in seminary. I think the biggest thing that I’m excited for is the opportunity to be able to study the bible in a way that has been proven, reliable and in a lot of ways purposed. I’m excited to be in the Word and studying it for what has to speak to me, as opposed to having teaching thrown at me. The majority of my Christian growth has been centered largely on what other people have told me and have spoken into my life. On the one hand, this isn’t totally wrong but it shouldn’t be your primary source of information on God, that should come directly from Him in the form of His word.

The past few months I’ve been working as a freelance designer and God has blessed me abundantly in that period of time. Not only were my needs met but I had more than enough in my circumstances. Just amazing how God works and pulls through when you need Him most.

My summer schedule is as follows:

July 10-12 | Cincinnati for a friend’s wedding

July 12-17 | North Carolina to spend some time with Holly

July 17-22 | Washington, D.C. to visit Wubaby

July 22-30 | Last days in Columbus, Ohio

August 1 – 17ish | Taiwan and China with the family

August 19 | DTS orientation

So if you are going to be in these areas at those times, I would love to be able to meet up with you all.

Be well, peace and grace unto you.

and no, I am not talking about bowel movements. It’s been too long friends. I apologize. Ever since I graduated, life has not been the same, nor has it been what I would expect. Things in life ebb and flow, but one thing remains constant for me; my assurance that I have a spot at the foot of the cross. Nothing else satisfies me more than to know that I am loved by the One who cannot let me down. I’ve tried to stay faithful, but my carnality begs me to wane and wander. If it wasn’t for shed blood and redeeming grace, oh would I be lost. It’s a process and it’s a journey, one worth taking and one worth laying my life down for.

updates:

1. I applied to Dallas Theological Seminary back in February or March. I found out last week that I got accepted into their Masters of Arts: Media and Communication! Praise God.

2. I’ve been freelancing as a graphic designer and it has been amazing how God has provided for me in that I have a some-what steady income with clients that seem to come out of nowhere.

3. I’ve been wanting to extend and work on my photography services, but the timing has been all wrong. With this move to Dallas in the fall, the local push in Columbus for photography has come to a screeching halt. Which I’m fine with. There are so many other things that I need to be taking care of.

4. Holly moved to North Carolina for the summer, she’s there to be with her family and to work to save up for seminary. It’s been extremely difficult dealing with the long-distance nature of our relationship now. It’s harder to read her words without looking at her body language and her face as she talks. But it’s life, and like I mentioned above, it’s worth it. She’s worth it. There’s no other woman that I’d rather be with than her. We all have our moments, but we aren’t perfect people so how we can perform to such a level. Grace and love unconditional are the salt and pepper shakers to a well seasoned meal/relationship. (mmm… bacon..)

Anyways, just wanted to post something up here to say that I’m still alive and I do intend on using this more often. I haven’t been journaling enough and it’s about time that I started to get back into the practice. So much is locked up there in the ole noggin, and the space isn’t available anymore.

Be well, peace and grace unto you.